I am not organized
my room
the aftermath of a hurricane
I am not exact
the recipes stuck in my head
can never be written
I am distracted
my thoughts in bursts
are easily lost in the middle of a conversation
the ideas on my notebook
like countless stars strewn in the void
my grammar in disarray
half-drunk half-baked half-lived
I am far from determined
Oh dear yes
I’m always disoriented in fact
going around in circles forgetting where it was I intended to go.
there was and never will be structure nor hierarchy
there is no black and white
only gray

I am never consistent
I mismatch actions with emotions
like laugh when it’s not funny
or dress and talk fancy when I feel little
be silent when I am enraged
and even defend the enemy
yes I contradict myself

I forget 


(June 4, 2014, Evernote)


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