Note on “Actualized”

“Actualized” is just one of the many lists I have and though I have loosely written things that I have done in the past it was only this year, 2012 that I really defined what it is I want to include and exclude. You probably can’t understand a word I’m saying but I’ll get to that.

“Actualized” is what I call the list of things that I have done. They don’t exactly have to be something monumental such as graduating, winning awards or playing a piece in front of an audience. It can be quite simple as long as it was fulfilling for you. Actually it can even be stupid as long as it’s something that makes you smile.

This is my 49th post and 2012 is slowly winding down (not!). I like this blog and I like this year. And these lists that I am talking about are really something. No matter how little they are, it’s different when you see it as a whole. People are natural pessimists and they will be unforgiving. They will forget a lot of the good things. They will forget about the many things they have crossed out especially when they still have a long list of tasks yet to be done. I’ve found that this list is so much better than the “things to do” and “tasks at hand” lists. I think it is more like positive reinforcement.

If you see that you have already started, then you will be motivated to continue. If you are halfway, you will feel like you can’t leave it. And if you are almost there, well I think you’d force to beat it. These are the things that the “to do” list cannot give you. So tomorrow think not of what the things you have to do but the things you have done.

My shrink told me to make a list of “things I look forward to” long ago so that when I feel gloomy it can remind me there’s “hope” and such a thing as “tomorrow”. Never really worked for me so I guess it just wasn’t my time to “live” then. I hope I can show her how far I’ve gone and how many tomorrows I lived after the many times I’ve died.

and so I say Aloha once more!

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